I have many dreams for myself and my son. My Father is awakening many previously buried desires within me, desires my now-just-concluded life would not have allowed me to think about. With every new chapter in life comes new opportunities; with every loss, gain. I feel lucky in that -in my humble and probably flawed opinion- my gains appear to overshadow my loss. I used to dream of things that I had no hope of fulfilling until now that my circumstances have changed.
As things stand, my son and I were given 90 days to move out of our home, into a newly purchased one that is in need of quite a bit of work as well as some fixtures and fittings. Choosing to invest in financially self-sustaining homes is the best idea I ever had as I find myself under zero financial duress to occupy this residency since it pays for itself whether I live in it or not.
Theoretically, this arrangement allows us the opportunity to move away and come back to our house as we please, with some logistical shuffling of course. Free from all such encumbrances, I’m faced with a problem of an abundance of choice; ‘een lux-probleem’ as we say in Dutch. Most folks struggle with problems related to a lack of choice, not an abundance thereof. As such I count myself blessed even in the face of all the challenges that go with rebuilding a life.
I have little reason to stay in the state where we live as we have no real ties there. Our obligation ends when my son, Jan, graduates university then anywhere west of the hemisphere can become our home. I work with a colleague who lives on one of the Dutch colony islands of Saint Bart or Saint Maarten in the Caribbean.
I sharply awakened to the reality that absolutely nothing is stopping me from moving there for a year to experience island living. I could move to my beloved California now that there isn’t an objection anymore. Or I could move to Philly where I am currently based for work. Indeed with my EU passport, I could just as easily move to Lisbon, or Venice, or Amsterdam -anywhere really- as my job allows me to live anywhere I want as long as I can fly into the US on time to work my trips, then simply fly back to wherever home is on my off days.
With me working international trips weekly, I know this is a common practice worldwide as we fly many passengers back and forth weekly -we call them our regulars. I also know of countless colleagues that do that within my industry. Without anyone to return to as such, someone to ground me in one place, the world had literally become my oyster and even the sky isn’t a limit; I’m spoilt for choice as to where I could move to. Or not. I could just stay home and make a beautiful nest for myself and bring my dream alive to care for those needing love; I certainly have plenty of love to give.
Questions such as ‘does God have a say in where I live?’ arise. The answer seems to be that God cares as much as you believe Him to. There are those who won’t move until He says to. And there are those who go anyway and trust God will meet them on the way and direct their path. I’m tired of people who keep saying God helps those who help themselves; there is no verse in scripture that says this or even implies it, but there is a lot about trusting God, waiting on the Lord and having Him direct our path.
I’m praying and seeking the Lord on the way forward as my time dwindles down to 60 days now; the alternative will be an eviction as per the court order. Keeping in mind it’s ‘een lux-probleem’, please pray with me as we see where the Lord leads, won’t you? Cheers, Helena xoxo