To All the Men I’ve Loved Before

6 minutes

Happy Sunday everyone! I’m still out and about, away from home for the month, galavanting from continent to continent, state to state, from family to friends; so many happy people to visit, but so little time. I am cherishing this precious time I have to myself to travel around and visit everyone, paying my dues and doing my part in nurturing these vital relationships in my life. With my son in Tokyo and my husband gone, I have no obligation to be home, which means the world becomes my playground, literally.

I landed back from my weekly Amsterdam trip and upon checking the weather noticed that Connecticut will have rain all week; it made no sense to go back there to an empty house just to hear the pitter-patter of the rain on my window as I wait out my off-days. So I made other plans and off I go to explore the world. I started this post at the airport in the Admirals Club Lounge, and I’m finishing it in my cozy hotel room where I have just fetched a cuppa and put my feet up to reflect on all the wonderful men I have been blessed to know in my life on this special occasion.

A Happy Father’s Day to all these precious souls out here tending to their kids, step-kids, adoptive kids, big brothers, situations, and all the men in various types of mentorship positions in the lives of the young people who look up to them and whose minds they mold. Today I celebrate you all and I honor your role and position in the lives of those to whom you matter.

I think of my Heavenly Father, my maker, my creator, the one I turn to for wisdom, the one who sent His son and betrothed me to Him as His forever bride. I always believed in Him, only my human mind could never fathom that he would care about the details in my life. In this last six months, He has shown me that he cares beyond that which I deserve. It has brought me immense comfort to know that He is one that never writes anyone off. Such is the love we all desire as we walk through life, this kind of unconditional love that can only come from the divine. I am blessed because He created me for a purpose which he is revealing to me because He loves me so so much.

On a day like this, of course I think of my dad, the single most influential man in my life; the person who has had the most positive impact on my life. It’s because of him that I can take God at His word that He is a good God. My father modeled my Heavenly Father’s love perfectly, so much such that I have no trouble relating to a loving God. I miss him everyday and lately I keep imagining how happy he feels watching down from heaven. He worried when he sensed my walk of faith waning. He prayed for all of us (his family) daily until he went back to our Father in heaven. Today the peace of mind I have is a fruit of those ceaseless prayers he sowed on my behalf. I am blessed because he was my earthly father and he loved me so very well.

My husband who I’ve always fondly referred to as Mr. Grey is not far from my mind on this day. He is the only man my son has ever known as a father, the only man my son has ever called ‘dad’. Together with him, we have transitioned my son through the defining years of his tender life, successfully navigating potholes and pitfalls that come with raising a young boy through those pesky perilous teenage years. I thank the Lord that Mr. Grey boldly stepped into this role and courageously gave it his best. I thank him for the countless sacrifices made in this endeavor, and I salute him for his selflessness, dedication and tenacity.

My only brother and our very last born, how I love our Antony. This is the man I have always been able to rely on no matter what. The young boy that’s grown up to be a responsible father to the children he is literally giving his life for, the children that continue to take first place in his life. I admire him because he identified what he wants his legacy to be and then pursued it at all cost, even to himself. I admire him for the persistence he has, the hopes he nurtures, the determination he portrays. He is of my blood and an accurate reflection of me. I know daddy would be proud of him and I have no doubt that God loves him deeply.

My ex-husband gave me the lovely gift of my son, my only living child. Because of his legacy, my son gets up every day and continues to work his way towards that degree that he so inspired; he too wants to be an engineer just like his biological father. My boy is just as smart academically, and he additionally displays a very high level of emotional intelligence, showing great capacity to care deeply for others.

My Son, my little man, my very precious bundle of joy, only now grown. The reason I do what I do, the reason I hang in there, the reason I have fought so hard to hold on to my sanity in this tough period, the reason I’ve battled on my knees for civility to reign. The apple of my eye, fruit of my womb, the boy that calls me Queen-Mother and loves me unconditionally. The youngest of this lot, the one I am most invested in. Until he’s happy, I can never be. My success doesn’t count until his is established. He remains my everything, my very life. I breathe to see him grow, to see him becoming. Though still only a child and not a father, I celebrate him as a young man. I am blessed that he exists and I am proud of his every move.

My amazing first cousin Vinnie grew up with us as our last born. To think he is a father today boggles my mind. That this young man grew into a productive member of society is no accident; his good and kind heart has led him to triumph through life’s tests and trials, and he’s always emerged victorious while raising his mini-me with all the love a father can give -today I salute him for his beautiful heart.

All these men are gloriously flawed yet infinitely good. They wake up everyday and do their bit. They fall and rise again, try again. Some days they fail and other days they succeed. They all face challenges associated with being men in a society that is fast changing and barely recognizable, constantly challenging their God-given role in said society. Yet they keep getting up everyday, they keep going, doing, trying, learning, striving,  balancing, becoming…

To these men and all the other glorious men to come, we women in your lives honor you today. We pray for you, for your success, your safety, your peace of mind. We pray that you each find your way home if you ever get lost, that you may have the courage to admit when you are wrong, and that you may never tire of trying.

Most of all, I pray that you may all seek a closer walk with God your father so He can impart on you your divine assignments and a vision for your families and the children you’ve been gifted with to raise, for without a positive vision, we each die a little each day. From the women that love you, we see you, we honor you, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and we salute you! Cheers, Helena xoxo



  1. Chris
    June 28, 2019 / 5:12 AM

    You write beautifully. What a great testament to the men and mostly to you for being so perceptive 🧡

    • Grey Dynasty
      July 5, 2019 / 4:54 AM

      Hey siz, you found your way here? Welcome!!! Yes, your man takes the whole cup -brava to Joe, showing us all how it should be done!! 😘

  2. topi Lyambila
    June 19, 2019 / 2:08 PM

    There you are bolstering the age old adage of behind every successful woman there are strong men.
    I love the way you have paid the men in your life tribute including your Ex, a truly bold perception which often is underplayed by women of no substance who get overtaken by emotional baggage and decide to play selfish. Forgetting that to that little prince or princess they know them as Dad and Mom. Regardless of your turmoil.

    I salute you Mukooko with all my heart. Keep on keeping on……

    • Grey Dynasty
      June 19, 2019 / 2:45 PM

      Topi, my heart is full to hear from you! We made such good memories along with Mr. Grey back home, didn’t we? 😁 I thank you all great men out there doing your bit; you all make our world go round 🌍 every last one of you 🙂

  3. Mark
    June 17, 2019 / 11:06 AM

    You have been blessed and surrounded by amazing men!

    • Grey Dynasty
      June 17, 2019 / 12:58 PM

      God has been so good to me, it’s not lost on me. With men like you surrounding us ladies, God will see to it that we all come out on top, and I’m grateful for you 🙏

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