Hi Family, I hope you’re all keeping as well as I am, May has started off well for me. I have a light schedule this month with only 4 planned trips to Amsterdam, and all weekends off; I could not have planned it better myself. My Father continues to supply all my needs according to his riches in glory. Deep joy abounds within my heart and I know peace like no other.
I’m falling in love more and more each day as my Father reveals to me what true love looks like. My heart is captivated by his goodness as he draws me close to him. I long for his presence like I haven’t experienced before. I want for nothing and my heart is full to overflowing. He loves me with an everlasting love to depths of which I cannot comprehend. As Paul writes in Ephesians 3:18-19 in the passion translation: Then you will be empowered to discover the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is his love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding.
And to think I felt unworthy not too long ago; it’s laughable now. Spending time in His word keeps revealing the vastness of His love for me, his loving kindness, his deep compassion. For instance, did you know that he longs to be gracious to us, to show us compassion (Isaiah 30:18)? Or that he keeps track of all our wanderings and collects our tears in a jar (Psalm 56:8)? Or that His eyes roam the earth to show himself strong to those whose hearts are fully committed to Him (2 Chronicles 16:9)? Or that He rejoices over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17)?
How can it be that this is the same God I thought to be so far far far away, somewhere up in the skies? I have lived for the past 13 years thinking God does not concern himself with the affairs of man at the individual level. Thinking that it was up to me to figure out things best I can then pray that God will bless me.
I’ve fumbled and bumbled along for as long as I can remember, encumbered with emotional pain and deep anxiety, needing help so desperately in my daily life with no idea that while I was dying on this side of the door, my savior was on the other side of said door, dying to grace me with the same help I so desperately needed. It is the classic case of a prisoner sitting in jail with the key to his freedom in his hand. To quote Rumi, ‘one of the marvels of the world is the sight of a soul sitting in prison with the key in its hand’.
As for the aforementioned anxiety, there was always a cure hidden in plain sight in the Bible. Davis writes in Psalm 94:19, ‘when anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul’; and in his first epistle, the apostle Peter encouraged us in 5:7 to cast our cares/anxieties on him (the Christ) because he cares for us. And Paul wrote to the Philippians in 4:6-7 ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus’. If you’re suffering emotional pain, the prophet Isaiah assures us in 53:4, that Christ has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. And again in 7:9, ‘they will not hurt or destroy in all my Holy mountain’. My Father’s word works. It’s alive. I’ve applied it and can attest that it works -I am a testimony.
My throat is patched as I pant after God, as a deer pants for water (Psalms 42:1). I’m currently gulping down rivers of living water to quench my thirst; the waters we are promised in the book of Revelations 21:6, ‘I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost’. My cup is brimming over (Psalm 23:5) and I am experiencing unspeakable joy (1 Peter 1:8). I have never been more excited about my future and all the exploits I am embarking on with my father. If these past few months are anything to go by, then I’m in for the ride of my life. As the book of Daniel promises in 11:32, ‘the people that know their God shall be strong and do exploits’.
I’ve put my hand in the hand of my Father and He is leading me on to scale heights I didn’t even know existed to be scaled in the first place. I feel no sense of urgency as I have him forever; as David says in Psalm 31:15, ‘my times are in your hands’, and I mean that both literally and figuratively. We are taking our time as I get to know Him better while enjoying him supplying of all my needs according to his riches in glory (Phil. 4:19). I have no fear for he has redeemed me; he has summoned me by name and I am his (Isaiah 43:1). He knows the end from the beginning and everything in between (Isaiah 46:10). Why would I ever fret about my life when he holds my future in his hand? I am content with what I have, precisely because God will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).
I’m on a journey of falling in love with my father as he rejoices over me with gladness, quietens me with His love (Zephaniah 3:17), covering me with his feathers, giving me refuge under his wings (Psalm 91:4) as dark clouds pass up ahead; his faithfulness is my shield and rampart. I am on the adventure of a lifetime and my heart is overjoyed. Like the Psalmist in 28:7, I too, now proclaim that ‘the Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving’. Cheers, Grey xoxo