Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 9, 2020

Narcissism & Toxicity | Godly Relationships 

6 minutes He’s toxic. She’s toxic. They are narcissistic. Leave them. Walk away. Guard your space. Guard your energy. They’ll never change. Give up on them. Walk away. Think of yourself only. Life is short, be happy; your happiness is what matters most. They are not worth the effort. Save yourself. They are not good enough. Push them out. Close the door. Throw away the key. They are not worth your time. You deserve better. You can do better. Start over. Find someone else. The grass is greener… Write. Them. Off. I struggle with the idea of boundaries. It makes me uncomfortable,…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 26, 2020

Apologetics | Answering Difficult Questions

7 minutes Back in April, I watched a documentary titled ‘Already Gone: Answers in Genesis‘. It articulated why children raised as Christians will quit church by the times they get to college. It came down to their legitimate questions about the doctrine of our faith going unanswered by mature christians who lack insight or revelation on how to answer these petulant questions, which, when answered, should help ground our faith. Premised on the ‘intelligent design’ versus the ‘evolution theory’ debate, the documentary contended that the first time a child asks a question and it’s answered with ‘just pray’, or ‘just believe’, we…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 19, 2020

The Witness of Christ | Living Epistles

7 minutes And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to Myself – John 12:32. Hello everyone, July has been a special month for me. I had a birthday on the 8th and spent it quietly at home with my son. I’d like to say it’s because of Covid, but I think it’s exactly how I would have spent it anyway, pandemic or not. I love my home and I love being home. It’s my favorite place and I have been super blessed and extremely privileged to be able to stay safe within its confines for…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 12, 2020

Abiding Joy | Thanking you all 

5 minutes There is a deep joy within me. I didn’t know I could be this happy. Nobody told me. Actually, people did tell me but I didn’t really believe them. I thought I would be sad endlessly… There is an end to all things. Trouble does come to an end. To quote Psalm 30:5, ‘weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.’ Friends, my morning joy came a couple of months ago. It’s a magical time in my life, sweet release. My trust in my Father is so complete and I truly lack nothing.  The few dreams…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 2, 2020

Higher Ground | Attic Life

5 minutes We have had such lovely sunny days and I’m so enjoying my time home at home with my boys -let me explain. My son Jan has been travelling for years now. He’s been taking his friends along with him on most of his inter-continental trips. Now with international flying at a standstill as we continue to try and flatten the curve, the boys have been left planless. Lucky for me, our home has become the meeting point of their young minds. I cannot adequately describe how happy and blessed this makes me feel! You see, I grew up in a…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair June 30, 2020

My Father’s Guidance | June heartcheck 

5 minutes Hey friends!! I hope you’re all doing well as summer progresses. As for me, I have never been as well as I am right now. June has been such a good month! My Father has been holding my hand tenderly, walking me through some of the more mature lessons as I graduate from drinking spiritual milk to eating spiritual meat (see 1 Corinthians 3:1-3 and Hebrews 5:12). It’s amazing how He knows exactly where we are and how He gently guides us to where we need to be; all we need to do is call on Him and yield our…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair May 31, 2020

Heart-Check in May

3 minutes As I write this, my page is under maintenance mode; so I am writing behind the scenes. It’s Sunday evening, the last day of May. I have spent a quiet day at home with my son and his friends and we all just came back from our evening walk around our neighborhood. I love it here, my hometown. I love how deep we are nestled in the suburbs, yet just a 15 minute walk will get you to our city right on Main Street; such an ideal location to be raising my son in. We are super blessed that our…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair April 28, 2020

April Heart Check

5 minutes As April comes to a close, I think back to what a victorious month this has been for me. January was peaceful and restful. February was pressured and numbing. In March I was fretting and trying to figure out the way forward in both my personal and professional life. April has been my most relaxed and happiest month yet this new decade as a 7-day hibernation over the Easter weekend saw me emerge refreshed and restored in more ways than I had anticipated. I’ve never been more sure of myself in Christ than I am in this season. I’m watching…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair March 31, 2020

A heart-check this March

8 minutes With everything that’s going on in the world, March has been a tough month. The pandemic that’s been visited upon us has really taken its toll. I feel myself slumping into the lull it’s pulled us all into as my life slows down a bit more each new day. At first, I didn’t even notice it. I was so consumed with my own life that I hadn’t paused long enough to assess the unfolding events. The border shutdowns found me on a leisurely 5-day maiden trip to South Africa just because I could and I had some free time on…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair February 21, 2020

Cultivating Character | Fruit of the Spirit

3 minutes But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience (forbearance), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control ~ Galatians 5:22-23 Dear Reader, this season I have decided on writing a series centered on character development, specifically, cultivating femininity within the area of character. Why, you ask? Because the area of our character is one of particular interest to our heavenly father; it’s the reason He is continuously pruning and molding us. Several verses in the Bible make reference to God being the potter and us being the clay (Isaiah 29:16; Isaiah 64;8; Jeremiah 18:1-9; Romans 9:14-24) ‘Like clay in…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair February 8, 2020

The Joy of Serving Another

3 minutes Hello everyone, how I’ve missed you all here on the blog! The year started with some zest and I had quite a bit planned. In just a month and a week in, I have traversed a great distance and the change of scenery has done me wonders in terms of giving me a fresh perspective on my life and how things are going. I have had a chance to re-evaluate my position on quite a few things and I finally feel ready to make some key changes that I believe will result in a richer life experience going forward. I’m…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 31, 2019

Year in Review | 2019

21 minutes Ps: Click here for my decade in Review Post. 2019 was the end of an era for me. So many changes took place, none of which I wanted but had to take in stride, yet all of which have resulted in good. After doing the 2010s decade in review, I thought it would be interesting to do an annual review as well, seeing as it was a pivotal year for me and my loved ones. Our past informs our future in that it helps us see what we can incorporate going forward as well as what we should leave behind.…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 30, 2019

A Decade in Review | The End of 2010s

15 minutes   Ps: Click here for my 2019 Year in Review Post.   Hiya, as the 2010-decade comes to an end, I thought to undertake the introspective task of looking back to identify milestones, crossroads and turning point. It’s worth seeing how far we’ve come, what steps we took that moved us forward, what steps moved us backwards, and when we stood still. 2010 – the year of new beginnings Highlight: Relocated from Belgium to the US to join my husband | Mother-in-Law died Emotional health: Peaceful 2010 found me in love, eager to be reconnected with my then brand-new husband,…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 25, 2019

A Very Merry Christmas to you all!

4 minutes Hey you all, I want to wish you a fabulous day today as you celebrate Christmas. I’m sure we all remember the reason for the season. Today, love came into the world. Well, not quite today today, but around this season. Still let’s go with it and celebrate the birth of our Christ. My Pastor has been preaching a series on Jesus, explaining how many of us are stuck on Jesus as a baby in a manger. Others think of him as the twelve-year-old at the temple. Others yet see him crucified. He warned about the danger of being stuck…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 21, 2019

In Pursuit of Peace | Becoming a Peacemaker

8 minutes Becoming a peacemaker is one of the hallmarks of Christian maturity, that’s probably why it took me a little longer to learn. By nature, I am not a fighter. Whenever I’ve found myself accused of something, it’s generally not in my nature to defend myself. I am actually quite reticent, and I’ll walk away before I’ll defend myself. I’ll let people talk bad about me and not correct them. I’ll let people tell lies and just shrug it off. It’s not to say I am unaffected; I learnt a long time ago that people will always think what they want…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 19, 2019

Standing in the Gap | The Ministry of Intercession

10 minutes We come to the Lord because others stood in the gap and intercede for us when we were lost in the far country. Someone pleaded our case to the Father, causing heaven to act on our behalf: for when we pray, heaven moves; if we stop, heaven stops. When there is an unrelenting intercessor standing and contending for us, it changes everything. Prodigals eventually return home, as long as someone is praying for them. and we watch the road until they do… for we do not leave our wounded behind.

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 16, 2019

A Prodigal’s Return | A Homecoming  

5 minutes The prodigal story paints such vivid imagery, beautifully shining a light on a father’s deep and unconditional love for his son; a father rending his garments to run up to meet, embrace and welcome back home a lost child. We humans are fair-weathered and we break our promises all the time, whether with man or God, causing us to wander off to create a life we think we deserve. Yet there is no reward in prodigal living. The truth is we are all hungry for love and we have a Father that has plenty of love to give, effortlessly and without keeping score. God is waiting for you with open arms, run into His warm embrace. He is calling you just as you are. Stop resisting and come home.

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 15, 2019

Encountering a Loving God | Story Time

6 minutes To think I fretted that all God had for me was salvation from damnation and nothing more; O how wrong I was! I’ve been over here doing mad exploits with my Father all year long! I ascertained quite early on that walking this walk with my Savior would mean trusting Him, gingerly putting one foot in front of the other and doing my best to walk as I sense Him leading. I feel blessed that I serve a God that reaches down to mankind to save him; immortal God pursuing mortal man for salvation from eternal damnation, and for participation in His divine plan for the salvation of mankind. He has done so much for me, how can I not love a God like this? It’s His love for me that keeps me at His feet; how can I not but worship Him?

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 13, 2019

Unmuting God: My Lord Speaks | Story Time 

8 minutes How can an omni-present God who is everywhere be this elusive to find? How can a God said to be reaching out to humanity to save them be this hard to find? But He did find me. He fought for me in the battle over my soul and won for me. He didn’t stop there but kept whispering for me to seek Him; He wanted to be found by me! Dear ones, how He longs for us… He created us for communion with Him; we mustn’t keep dishonoring that desire, leaving Him out of our lives. While the truth is that He was chasing after me all along, the plot twist is that I now chase after him, my heart panting after Him as a deer pants for water. Because He has inclined His ear to me, I will praise Him till I have no breath…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 11, 2019

My Father’s Relentless Pursuit | Story Time

6 minutes I remember when I began to suspect that it wasn’t just my imaginings, and that it was really God calling out to me to turn to Him and take refuge in His fortress. It would take another full month before I would put two and two together and realize that it really was God intervening in my life, and that His Holy Spirit was tugging at my heartstrings. Startled, I awoke to the battle over my soul.

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 9, 2019

Making Idols of Men | Story Time

5 minutes Much to my surprise, I found I was a much more tolerant person away from church, thus reinforcing the belief that I was doing just fine spiritually. Organized religion had not worked for me and I wanted nothing to do with it. Christianity’s claim to exclusivity as the only way to God didn’t sit right with me. Its lack of acceptance for any deviation from what was considered ‘accepted Christian practice’ vexed my spirit. The vilification of otherness irked me and Christianity’s general haughty attitude irritated me. I certainly hadn’t encountered the love ‘they’ were supposed to practice, at least not in its full measure of mercy and grace.

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 8, 2019

December is for Christmas

4 minutes Dear Reader, we interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to say hello and reconnect with you all in our cozy little community here. November ended on a high note after our thanksgiving celebrations, and since our Christmas tree was already up, we effortlessly rolled into Christmas festivities with no hinderances. Our tree is up, lights and all. We are yet to get gift boxes under the tree though; I’ve been meaning to go shopping soon but I haven’t been to Amsterdam in about 3 weeks now -it’s the longest I haven’t been these past couple of years and it feels weird.…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair November 30, 2019

How I settled For an Indifferent God | Story Time

9 minutes The biggest lie the enemy sells us is that God is indifferent. I was surprised to learn that I am not the only one that had fallen for the lie, that there were others too, that there was nothing original about the enemy, that he always recycles the same lies to the hapless, the undiscerning. I flash back to the year 2006 when, after almost a decade of a futile search for God, I came to the conclusion that while He is unquestionably good, God really was just indifferent to the finer details of our lives, and that it was up to us to make our way through life best we can, all while hoping He doesn’t smite us dead should we happen to get it wrong. Read on…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair November 28, 2019

A Happy Thanksgiving

6 minutes Dearest Reader, It’s thanksgiving weekend here in the USA and as such, I wanted to wish you all a lovely thanksgiving weekend. Thank you for bestowing upon me your most precious gift, that of your time and attention – taking time out of your day to stop by and read the blog. I pray God’s blessings over your life in this season of your life, may your thanksgiving tables be filled with love and laughter. I hope you all have a wonderful time with your family and all your loved ones. Cheers, ღ Helena ღ

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair November 27, 2019

The Lion’s Lair | Loving Lair

4 minutes Christ is often symbolized as a lion in the Bible, imagery intended to communicate leadership, strength, ferocity, power, splendor and majesty. As a symbol, the lion represents rulership, kingship, fierce and powerful. The Psalmist in 76:2 calls God’s dwelling place in Zion –his lair: “his den has been in Salem, his lair in Zion.” It is my prayer that as we make a worthy home for his word in our hearts, may we not forget or overlook each other.

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair November 23, 2019

Loving Lair | A loving community

3 minutes Few things bring me as much joy as using the depth of my voice and the cadence of my language to communicate creative interests and ultimately to nurture our growing community here on the blog. I am keenly conscious of the fact that these stories we tell here are not just my perspectives and experiences. Rather, these are our stories culled from all our collective experiences. We take what we’ve been given and enrich each other’s lives through shared experiences, cultivating vulnerability in ourselves and in those with whom we share our stories. Welcome to the blog dear Reader, our journey continues.

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair November 22, 2019

Loving Lair | A loving story

5 minutes The word ‘Loving’ has always held a fascination for me for the last decade of my life, I have wanted to use it as far back as I can remember, but the timing to use it was never quite right as it wasn’t all up to me. Additionally, and perhaps more distressing, I myself was struggling with love since I wasn’t connected to the endless source of love and kept running dry as a result.

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair November 18, 2019

Loving Lair | A Faith Lifestyle Blog

6 minutes The name, “Loving Lair”, comes from a deep desire to become love, and to create loving spaces in our literal homes as well as our literary world here on the blog. As we create loving lairs for our loved ones at home, we unearth and uncover within us a drive to beautify, displaying an interesting mix of creativity and whimsy. Our aesthetics communicate warmth and tranquility, even as we focus on creating homes that are founded on love.

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair November 1, 2019

Grey Dynasty – Inspiring a Life Daringly Imagined

5 minutes This season marks four years since I started this blog. I’d had the intention for several years and eventually took the plunge and launched Grey Dynasty in the fall of 2015. Over the years, I’ve blogged on sustainable fashion, travel, and matters of faith and lifestyle, sharing my musings aimed at inspiring us all to live a life daringly imagined, as the tagline reads, courtesy of Mr. Grey. I’ve enjoyed sharing bits of myself here and I’m quite content that a piece of me lives on the internet, for indeed that was my goal when I first started -to leave…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 31, 2019

Lifestyle: An Unfortunate Morning

4 minutes Last weekend was lovely as the family gathered to celebrate Jan’s birthday, including a few of Jan’s friends who stayed for a sleepover. In total, we had 8 people over. For all intents and purposes, it was a most harmonious and successful gathering and my son had a really lovely time, as did everyone else. Mr. Grey kept the drinks flowing so the boys were thoroughly entertained with gaming while the girls watched Stranger Things on Netflix. It was the first time Jan and I have had any number of people at our new home; I was tempted to call…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 27, 2019

My Father Series: Holy Spirit

4 minutes Part of the holy trinity, the most neglected part, yet the part that walks with us. Without the Holy Spirit we would not be able to walk with our loving Father. Notably, the Holy Spirit is a person. He was there during the creation of the earth (Genesis 1:1-2), there when they made man (let us make man in our image – Genesis 1:26). He was there at the conception of the son of God (Luke 1:30-35). He was there at the baptism of Jesus in the River Jordan (Mark 1:9-11). And he is here with us as sure as…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 25, 2019

Lifestyle: Another Birthday

3 minutes Dear Reader and welcome to the Friday Blog. If you’re reading this on Friday morning, I’m currently flying back to the US from Amsterdam. I am scheduled to pick Jan up straight from campus since yesterday was his birthday, making this is his Birthday weekend and we are celebrating! I thought of us flying somewhere together but his class schedule didn’t permit it, so we decided to just have a chilled one at home, first catch a movie and then cook up a storm. I’ll even bake a cake like we used to every Sunday all those years ago in…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 20, 2019

My Father Series: The Resurrection Power

7 minutes Welcome to the Sunday blog dear Reader. Today’s post is a new revelation for me on this journey to the throne of God my Father. After last Sunday’s blog on ‘The Case for Christ’, the subject of the resurrection of Christ was looming large in my mind. Surprisingly, I found that once again I knew very little about this topic, and that I’ve never given it much thought. It’s not that I’ve not believed it, no. I’ve simply never questioned it or tried to grappled with the implications thereof for me as a child of the most high. The power…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 18, 2019

Lifestyle: Redeeming Time

4 minutes Hello dear Reader, this Friday finds me home not doing whatever it is that normal people do whenever they are home. I only worked a day all week so I’ve been home a while. You’d think I’d get some good rest, but it seems my body has maintained my flying schedule as I’ve still been sleeping in intervals of 2-3 hours at a time. So much quiet time, I must say, yet somehow time is never enough. Between doing my daily Bible study, listening to sermons and writing blogposts, I seem to be maxed out! I think it’s ridiculous as…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 13, 2019

My Father Series: The Case for Christ

8 minutes Normally, foundational classes in Christianity begin with Christ and the salvation he brings us. Rightfully so as he is the cornerstone upon which the church is built. Yet here on the blog, I left this post for later. The reason is that, for me, it was the hardest part of the God-story to believe, and the last piece of the puzzle to click into place. I’ve never disputed that there is a creator; the universe didn’t make itself. The Big Bang theory has always sounded absurd to me as I see no way where chaos randomly organize themselves into intelligent…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 11, 2019

Lifestyle: A Solemn Week

4 minutes Hello Reader and welcome back to the lifestyle blog. I’ve had a solemn week, understandably so as I’ll explain in a bit. Jan and I had a lovely weekend at home, I didn’t take him back to campus until Monday morning. He’s doing fine and his spirits are high, always a good thing for a mother to hear. October is his birthday month, so I guess my nostalgia is understandable as I feel particularly blessed to have him in my life. The more I embrace the principles of stewardship, the more grateful I feel that my Father entrusted him to…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 6, 2019

My Father Series: Be Transformed, Renew Your Mind

8 minutes It’s paradoxically comforting and disheartening to learn that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Disheartening because how can we have hope where nobody else has succeeded, and comforting because we don’t like to be alone in these things (misery loves company). The bible points us to Christ as the one man that had lived and not sinned, and he is the example we are to emulate as we grow in our Christian faith. Quoting the prophet Isaiah (53:9), the Apostle Paul tells us in his first epistle of Peter 2:22 “To this you were…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 4, 2019

October is for Birthdays

4 minutes Dear friend, October is here again and autumn weather will soon be upon those of us in the Northern hemisphere. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it, but I’m thankful to be able to experience it. I love that this time around, I’m in this new place of rebirth and renewal, no longer wondering how much longer my life will hold for. Even as other things are dying, my spirit is being renewed and hope springs eternally. It’s a time when what’s not needed is buried, either to die or sprout again when the season turns. I can think…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 29, 2019

My Father Series: Christ in the Old Vs. New Tension

3 minutes I am a mystery to myself, for I want to do what is right, but end up doing what my moral instincts condemn… For I know that nothing good lives within the flesh of my fallen humanity. The longings to do what is right are within me, but willpower is not enough to accomplish it. My lofty desires to do what is good are dashed when I do the things I want to avoid. So if my behavior contradicts my desire to do good, I must conclude that it’s not my true identity doing it, but the unwelcome intruder of…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 27, 2019

Turning the Corner

4 minutes Hello my lovely friends! I hope you’re all doing as well as I am, and that you’re all thriving in your daily endeavors. September has been a pivotal month for me on the journey to my new life. Perhaps it’s because I moved house and changed scenery, I don’t know, but it’s the month where I seem to have turned the corner and now I’m basking in bright eternal sunshine. Somehow this month, the sun shone through against all odds. The clouds parted and the sunshine peeked through, bright and resilient as ever. The gloom lifted. The pain parted, ostensibly…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 22, 2019

My Father Series: The Old & The New Tension

4 minutes Dear reader, welcome to the Sunday blog. So far we’ve looked at how we can best position ourselves to be found by God; how to get in the Word and learn about our loving Father; and how to find our identity in Christ and seeing ourselves as God sees us and not as the world might seek to define us. At this point, the expectation is that we have been inviting our loving Father into our lives daily, asking Him to draw us closer to Him. We’ve also been studying the Bible daily to get to know our Father and…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 15, 2019

My Father Series: How to Find Your Identity in Christ

6 minutes Hello reader and welcome to our Sunday blog. Finding my identity in Christ was my most panicked search on my journey to the Father. My life was overrun with weeds and negativity and I was drowning under a barrage of insults that I intellectually knew was untrue, but emotionally, I was succumbing to the name-calling and even beginning to question my identity as I noticed myself slipping and losing the battle with reality and the truth of who I was. I wasn’t anchored to anything in particular and thus had nothing to ground me. When my dearest friend Vanessa saw…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 13, 2019

Discovering the Neighborhood

3 minutes Hello friends, two weeks have gone by in our new place and I must say, we really are quietly blossoming there. I love coming home to family, to people that love unconditionally. We are all doing so very well life is unfolding quite meaningfully I might add. Circumstances worked out such that my son Jan stayed home longer and I didn’t drop him off to move-in on campus until just this week. This gave him an opportunity to explore the neighborhood and to bond with his nieces and we’ve had some lovely times of getting to know one another. It…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 11, 2019

Debunking Selfhood: You’ve Got This

3 minutes This is probably the subtlest of them all. I hear it preached from the podium all the time. I hear it indiscriminately from my Christian friends. It is meant to encourage. The phrase ‘I’ve got this’ is meant to bolster one’s confidence in their ability to get something done, to overcome something, to not give up, to persevere to the end. You’ve got this. It’s harmless. But it’s also toothless. What exactly is it that we have when we say we’ve got this? Looking underneath the hood, is there anything there that we really have? Philippians 4:13 tells me that…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 8, 2019

My Father Series: Finding God in His Word

5 minutes Hello friend and welcome back to my Sunday blog. I am in the middle of a 6-day stretch of off-days here at home and loving spending time with my family while sharing God’s Word. I hope you’re having equally loving times of refreshing in your homes. Last Sunday we talked about how we can allow ourselves to be found by God. We found that simply asking and inviting Him to reveal Himself to us will start us down the path of being sensitized to His presence. As we sense Him near, a need will start to arise within us, an…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 6, 2019

Settling In Well

4 minutes Hello my beautiful friends, I hope you are all doing well. I am doing splendid! All is well in our home and we’re settling in gradually. No, we are not completely unpacked as there are still a few more boxes to go, but by and large, we are a fully functioning family with many of the essentials in place -which really boils down to having a place to sleep. I’ve been at work all week as usual but my schedule allows me to be home every weekend, of which I’m so very grateful as I get to spend time with…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 4, 2019

Debunking Selfhood: the myth & folly of self

3 minutes Even I fell into the trap, the lie of self. For the longest time, I stayed away from grandiose expressions of self; it always somehow rubbed me the wrong way. Having grown up in a Christian home with good solid Christian values, my belief in God has always been firmly rooted in the Bible with God at the center of everything. Evolving from God as the center of everything to elevating the self as the center of our universe is a journey that is so subtle it’s easy to miss the nuances until our house of cards comes tumbling down.…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair September 1, 2019

My Father Series: How to be found by God

3 minutes Hello friend and welcome back to my Sunday blog. I’ve had a busy and fulfilling week away at work and just got back home yesterday for the weekend. Today being Sunday, I thought to write a post on our loving Father and how we can be found by Him. Of all the days of the week, today seems like a lovely day to spend some time in His presence so we can be found by Him. Here’s a verse that I find intriguing, especially having recently experienced it myself. Jesus is speaking in John 6:44 “If the Father who sent…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 30, 2019

Thanking my Father for Family

5 minutes My Father decided that my son and I didn’t have to face the move alone. Isn’t He a good Father? He sent my younger sister Terry and her family to come and help us in this trying time. At first I didn’t understand, erroneously assuming the worst of it was behind me. In His all-knowing wisdom, He knew it wasn’t, and so He sent help. While I was away attending to other official matters of this wrap up, Terry packed up my things best she knew how and by the time I got back, she had all bags, boxes, suitcases…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 29, 2019

My Moving Weekend

4 minutes I watched him, as he casually dropped it, this, my heart; flicking it to the wind like the ashes of a cigarette that had lost its fire. I silently screamed, sensing the danger of pain. Moving to rescue it from its downward plummet, I sensed the lateness of the hour. Gone was the opportunity to run from rejection, the die had been cast, the deed had been done. Without hesitation, without thought. So happy was I to find a willing candidate to stand guardian over my love, I abdicated my post as the keeper of my heart. With no formal…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 27, 2019

Entering my Father’s Rest

5 minutes It’s the quiet after the storm, and I’m in a good place in my life. Calm waters all around and blue skies up ahead. At the invitation of my Father, I have found my rhythm in my maker and I am learning to rest in Him. In secular terms, we would say ‘Ms. Grey is getting her groove back’. And it would be true, I am getting my groove back. I am resting well in my Father’s bosom, quietly watching the world go by, as a child nestled, nuzzling on his mother’s breast. My heart is quiet and I want…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 24, 2019

My Father is Rebuilding my Foundation

6 minutes “I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, hears my words, and puts them into practice. He is like a man who chooses the right place to build a house and then lays a deep and secure foundation on the bedrock. When the storms and floods rage against that house, it continues to stand strong and unshaken through the tempest, for it has been wisely built on the right foundation. But the one who has heard my teaching and does not obey it is like a man who builds a house without laying any foundation whatsoever.…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 23, 2019

With Friends in Dallas TX

3 minutes Hi everyone, Last week I flew down to our company’s headquarters in Dallas Texas for our annual recurrent training. Out of our graduation class of 60 in 2017, there were about 15 of us scheduled to take our re-qualification tests on the same day, so it felt like a reunion of sorts, meeting everyone and getting updates on their life happenings. Some have married, others have divorced. Some are now engaged while others have had children. One was let go and three others quit -and so on and so forth. I shared my news and I couldn’t help bursting into…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 12, 2019

Loving like my Father

8 minutes The ground rule remains consistent: whenever in doubt, choose love. Love is always the answer. Love is the way. Love is the only way. The closer my Father draws me near, the more He lays bare this simple truth -He distills all our options to just one -Love. God’s word provides for nothing else but to love. Vengeance is not ours but the Lord’s (Romans 12:19); this leaves us nothing but to love. We are told not to let our anger lead us to sin (Ephesians 4:26), that leaves us nothing but to love. For every negative emotion we could…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 11, 2019

How My Father Sees Me – My Identity in Christ

9 minutes We’ve often heard it said that if we don’t work on our goals, someone will hire us to work on theirs. It’s a poignant statement, one that’s jarring for those amongst us that feel called to be more. An equally poignant statement is -if we don’t define ourselves, who we are, our values, and what we stand for, others will seek to define us in ways that suit their purposes in that moment in time. Yet at the very core of our existence, the identity we assume -who we believe we are- shapes our thinking and informs our action. Knowing…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 7, 2019

My Hot-Girl Summer in NYC

4 minutes My Hot-Girl summer in New York City -Lol! I’ve wanted to say or type those words since I heard Wendy Williams say them 🙂 She too is having a hot-girl summer in NYC as she processes her divorce and, girl, is she living it up or what! Dragging ‘em in the most delicious of ways -graceful and dignified. Even as she breaks down and cries from time to time, she gets right back up dipping it and doing it, showing us all how it’s done! My hot-girl summer has so far taken me all over the city and I have…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 6, 2019

My NYC odyssey

4 minutes I stumbled upon this poignant this poem by Vicki Kralapp and thought to share it. “Searching to find my place once again lost in this foreign state of happiness. Left with no one to guide me… alone. || I strive to pave my own way now; along new paths, unafraid. I risk nothing,  as most is lost. || I have left the old behind, bruised and bloodied. For my heart has been at war; sanity at last has prevailed. || Amidst the bodies left behind, the old shells of who I once was, transformed as if emerging from a chrysalis. A…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair August 1, 2019

The wound of Rejection – My Father’s Healing

6 minutes “It wasn’t an enemy who taunted me. If it was an enemy…then I could have endured it. But it was you, a man, my equal, my familiar friend, my companion, my closest friend, the one I trusted most, the one I walked with and worked with! We once had sweet fellowship with each other, we worshipped in unity as one” ~ Psalm 55:12-14 Rejection is hard to bear. It calls to mind this verse in Daniel 5:27 “You have been weighed on the scale and found wanting, lacking, deficient, not measuring up.” You have been chewed up and spat back…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 31, 2019

My Father, My Defender

7 minutes I will defend you. I will be your lawyer. I will plead your case. I will take on those battles – Jeremiah 51:36. He fashions my hands for battle and my fingers for warfare – Psalm 144:1. I always said that the Bible is life’s instruction manual. It manages to address every conundrum faced by humanity. Through happy times and sad times, the Bible tells us how to celebrate and how to moan. It shows us how to tamper justice with mercy and compassion; how to correct and restore one another should we fall; how to deal with the betrayal…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 30, 2019

Summer Days in NYC

4 minutes Hi everyone, I’ve been tucked away in the Big Apple, spending my time exploring corners to take a bite from. My discoveries have taken me to SoHo all the way to the Upper East side and I’m really loving the versatility of the city. Everyone is actually super-nice and somehow, I’m apparently giving off a vibe that I’m not from The City. With people assuming I’m visiting from somewhere in Europe, it’s easy to play along and just be mysterious; I really don’t owe anyone my story. This weekend has been fabulous! From a shopping trip back to SoHo to…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 27, 2019

My Father on Pride

4 minutes If you’ve ever wondered where strife comes from, Prov. 13:10 states that “where there is strife, there is pride.” Strife therefore comes from being prideful. All foolishness and foolery come from pride as well, as per Proverbs 14:3 “a fool lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protects them.” When we are prideful, we feel we know everything, that we don’t need to seek counsel, that our way is the only right way and we can handle it all by ourselves. It’s called -having a made-up-mind. Here’s what God’s word has to say about that all-knowing, self-reliant,…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 26, 2019

My Father’s Battle Strategy on Slander

4 minutes My friend of two decades, Vanessa, reminds me often that when God reveals someone’s flaws to us, or an area that they are struggling in, God does that for the sole purpose and with the main intention that we pray and intercede for such a one. Life is sometimes full of unpleasantries, hurtful things. No one likes it when others speak badly about them. It hurts when what’s said is the truth, and it’s heartbreaking when it’s an untruth, an exaggeration, or an outright lie. To slander means to utter a misrepresentation which defames and damages another’s reputation. And Oh,…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 25, 2019

NYC to Philly: A Sojourner’s Take

5 minutes Today was quite the adventure; the task at hand consisted of finding my way from New York City to Philly airport for my Amsterdam flight tonight. Knowing it was going to be a challenge, I gave myself plenty of time for this adventure which I undertook with stamina and great gusto. Armed with a single suitcase, I left home at 11am and made my way to 125th to catch the train to Penn Station on 34th street. For some reason, New Yorker don’t say ‘subway’, they say ‘train’. I swiped my metro card only once 😉 and pushed the barrier…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 24, 2019

Attending the NYC TexWorld

5 minutes Hi everyone! I hope you’re all keeping well? I am doing amazing. Jan is somewhere off in the world touring while I stayed here in the US watching the summer unfold, and so far so good. A good childhood friend, Liz, went away on vacation to Europe for summer and you’ll never guess what -she gave me the keys to her Manhattan penthouse, rooftop and all, which is where this blog is coming to you from. She and I stayed up all day and all night chatting into the wee hours. Now she’s boarded her 747 Boeing flight to and…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 21, 2019

My Father’s Battle Strategy on Quarrels

6 minutes This one plagues so many of us, and I certainly haven’t been exempt. Often, there seems to be no way to get around it, no way to sidestep it, no way to quell it… Psychology says it’s normal, even healthy to argue. Countless books have been written on how to fight fair, the right way to argue, etc. As with everything else, the answer is found in life’s manual, the Bible, hidden in plain sight. And it’s not what psychology proposes. It’s quite radical when you think about it, but it’s also highly effective in curbing quarrels and arguments. God’s…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 15, 2019

Location, Location, Location

4 minutes I have many dreams for myself and my son. My Father is awakening many previously buried desires within me, desires my now-just-concluded life would not have allowed me to think about. With every new chapter in life comes new opportunities; with every loss, gain. I feel lucky in that -in my humble and probably flawed opinion- my gains appear to overshadow my loss. I used to dream of things that I had no hope of fulfilling until now that my circumstances have changed. As things stand, my son and I were given 90 days to move out of our home,…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 14, 2019

Birthday Musings

3 minutes I had my birthday this past week. Ideally, it should translate to me being wiser. It is desirable that the words older and wiser go hand in hand, sort of like a horse and chariot, or love and marriage -to quote Sinatra. In any case, my birthday was a quiet one, celebrated by my son, my mama and my siblings. I was on the job so I took myself out to a quiet lone dinner and treated myself to a sumptuous meal. I got offered a phone number or two but I really just wanted to eat by myself and…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair July 7, 2019

My Father’s Battle Strategy as Defender

5 minutes Hi Fam, I hope you’re all keeping well, enjoying the favorable weather we’ve been blessed with. It’s been sweltering hot on some days and I’m absolutely loving it. My son got back from Tokyo and Kyoto and we have been spending some lovely time together; I tend to take him with me to work often as it’s easy to cross over from The Netherlands to Belgium to our old life there. My Father has been training me for battle and it’s been the strangest most unusual set of tactics and stratagem He’s had me employ. “He trains my hands for…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair June 23, 2019

Solo London Days

3 minutes Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing fine enjoying the sunshine and this fine gift of life that we’re all so very lucky to have. It’s Friday and I’m in my hotel room in Kensington London, warm and cozy in my gown, cup of tea by my side as I type out this blogpost. It’s been a whirlwind of a visit and I have had such a lovely time browsing around the shops and cafés in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. Yesterday I met up with Sonya, who I first met back in 2016 through my friend…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair June 16, 2019

To All the Men I’ve Loved Before

6 minutes Happy Sunday everyone! I’m still out and about, away from home for the month, galavanting from continent to continent, state to state, from family to friends; so many happy people to visit, but so little time. I am cherishing this precious time I have to myself to travel around and visit everyone, paying my dues and doing my part in nurturing these vital relationships in my life. With my son in Tokyo and my husband gone, I have no obligation to be home, which means the world becomes my playground, literally. I landed back from my weekly Amsterdam trip and…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair June 2, 2019

June was an Ending

2 minutes Hi everyone! I hope you’re all doing well in this lovely spring time. Later this month summer begins and it only gets better from here. My son, Jan, has been home for the holidays, but only for a week. Yesterday morning he left for Tokyo for all of June; and just like that, I’m back to being alone again. I’ve gotten quite used to it and have learnt to appreciate the solitude, even embrace it. When I’m off at work, the thought of coming home to what I’ve come to regard as my sanctuary entices me as I plan all…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair May 12, 2019

My Father’s Voice

8 minutes Hi fam, I am learning that God deeply desires to communicate with us humans and that through the ages He has always found a way to speak to us. I’ll confess that I have always had reservations about people who walk around proclaiming loudly and with a straight face: ‘God spoke to me’. The nerve -just preposterous. And yet, alas, my father has been speaking to me, thereby inducting me into the ludicrous God-spoke-to-me group. Bear with me as I explain. I didn’t know just how deeply the father longs to communicate with us. As I continue to feast on…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair May 5, 2019

My Father’s Love

5 minutes Hi Family, I hope you’re all keeping as well as I am, May has started off well for me. I have a light schedule this month with only 4 planned trips to Amsterdam, and all weekends off; I could not have planned it better myself. My Father continues to supply all my needs according to his riches in glory. Deep joy abounds within my heart and I know peace like no other. I’m falling in love more and more each day as my Father reveals to me what true love looks like. My heart is captivated by his goodness as…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair April 30, 2019

The Father’s Beckoning

4 minutes Hi Fam! I didn’t want April to end without giving an update of my beautiful journey walking along with my Father as I learn to trust him, to count on Him, to turn to Him for my every need… I’m amazed at the amount of grace I have shunned in the past while living a life fashioned along a path of my own understanding. I’m comforted that all the answers I sought were always right there in the Bible, hidden in plain sight! Funny thing is I’d often quote those answers without realizing the real-time living power behind the very…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair March 27, 2019

Journey to the Father 

3 minutes Hello Fam! Permit me to share the joy in my heart as I journey to the Father. It’s been a long time coming as he’s been drawing me nigh for as long as I can remember. With my spirit lulled into a false sense of security, I’ve walked with him casually for many years. Inevitably, he declared it was time to come up higher. And when I didn’t hear his gentle whisper, he dropped the brick. Not once, but twice. The first time was in 2014. Wounded and brokenhearted, I ran away and hid from him, fearing I’d let him…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair March 26, 2019

My Father’s Heart

3 minutes Hello Fam! What an amazing month March has been! I’ve undergone a huge spiritual transformation that I can’t even begin to explain how deep it runs. I’ve been enjoying some quiet time of growth and my walk has gotten so much easier. My love of writing has drawn me out of my ‘secret place’ to share of myself and connect with you all because community is everything; nothing and nobody grows in isolation. Like the African proverb goes, if you want to go quickly, go alone; but if you want to go far, go together. Journey with me to the…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair January 7, 2019

My Quiet Place

3 minutes It’s wee hours early Monday morning. I’m back home, currently sitting on my beloved orange couch, sipping tea. I’ve been up since 5am, I have finally unpacked my bags, done some laundry, cleaned the dishes and tidied up some. It’s quiet day. I’m in my quiet place. I come here when I’m deeply distressed or highly content; your guess is as good as mine as to what I might be this time around. This marks my first blogpost of 2019. I’m a little confused as to what the year will bring so I’m not sure how to open this post.…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 9, 2018

Serendipity

3 minutes Serendipity: the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something truly wonderful, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated -let it find you.  I’m often inspired by my husband’s story, how he saw a picture of me and by faith got on a plane to fly from the US to Belgium to court me -the audacity of such an act! He says it was a Hail Mary move, and I love him the more for it. His valiancy was in coming to ‘get’ me and my act of valiance was in giving up my rather comfortable life to follow him…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 8, 2018

Writing as a cathartic exercise

4 minutes I’ve been journaling my whole life. I’ve kept a diary as far back as I can remember. I clear my mind by writing. I unravel mysteries the same way. I grow the same way. I learn and retain better through writing. I write when I’m upset, equally so when I’m happy. I heal by writing. It’s how I make sense of life. Conversely, I enjoy reading well written pieces. I have been known to note names of excellent journalists and notable columnists on my iPad notebook so I never miss a column they write or any of their works -such…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 7, 2018

Seek to Serve 

4 minutes Find a way to serve, and you’ll have found happiness ~ Helena Grey. I’m not sure how I came to this realization. It must be something I read that triggered this quote. Yet the more I think about it, while this concept might be new to me, it has been extolled from many a pews –I just happened to miss it until now. I guess sometimes we have to learn some things in our own time when we are ready to do so. My younger sister started a YouTube channel titled Chris plus Joe. Her motivation was to help others…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 6, 2018

The Path of Fear

4 minutes Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering ~ Yoda. Quoting Star Wars is not exactly my idea of opening a blogpost but this particular quote is apt for the topic at hand -the dreaded feeling of fear. How often I’ve felt it, the tightening knot at the pit of my stomach, the ‘woosh!’ feeling in my ears as my head starts to spin… Fear is paralyzing, whether there’s clear and present perceived imminent danger, or the slow dread that build up in our hearts and minds. If…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 4, 2018

A Guiding Principle in God

3 minutes What’s your golden rule, your guiding principle on how you treat yourself and others? How do you find your true North amidst life’s chaos? How do you stay true to yourself? The other day while I was scrolling through Pinterest for inspiration, I came across a picture of a card titled ‘the golden rule’. I’ve always maintained that there is one God, one power, one energy, one everlasting, one creator/maker. I’ve always argued that the message is the same whatever religion one might adhere to, with the exception of Christianity claiming to be the only way, a proclamation I find…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair December 3, 2018

Walking Each Other Home – Fav 2018 Quote

3 minutes We are all just walking each other home ~ Ram Dass. No truer words have been spoken. Personally, this quote is a reminder to be kind to each other, for we are all just trying to find our way to a person, to a place, a home, however we define that home to be. I got this quote from a video of a YouTuber I follow under the name of ‘Vegan Earth & Soul’, and with that I was introduced to Ram Dass and his quotes, quips & sayings. I watched a documentary of his on Netflix and was impressed…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 30, 2018

Debunking Reality in the Face of Truth

4 minutes One of the marvels of the world is the sight of a soul sitting in prison with the key in its hand ~ Rumi The things we don’t know kill us slowly. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life (proverbs 13:12). Hope deferred -these are the things we want but don’t pursue; the dreams we have but don’t fulfil. The truths of what we really want lay in our hearts, darkened only by illusions of what we call reality. Again, reality is nothing but the total sum of our thoughts so far,…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 28, 2018

He Will Carry You

3 minutes These many years later, I look up and see what the Lord has done. I see how in moments of overwhelm He stepped in and moved my life forward. I see how when I couldn’t walk, he carried me. I’m finally learning to trust in the journey. Hey everyone! In my last post, I wrote how when I stumbled into my new career, I’d had to leave the oars alone and let the boat drift downstream. I talked about trying to run away from the pain of loss and, and how when I looked up one day, I had a…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 27, 2018

Connecting my dots

5 minutes It was a startling question because no one has ever asked me that before. I had to think about it before I answered. Sometimes, all it takes for clarity to dawn on us and have everything snap into sharp focus all at once, is for someone to ask the right question. A colleague I was chatting with on this week’s Amsterdam trip asked me if I chose my current career because I speak several languages or if I just wanted to be an air hostess -that was the startling question. Back in 2014 when I was still trapped in corporate…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 21, 2018

The Waiting Game

3 minutes We’re all waiting for something, aren’t we? Think about it. We’re waiting to finish school, the meet the one, to graduate, to be seen, to be heard, to relocate, to get married, to start a family, to retire, to be published, to post the blog, the edit the video, to shoot the next video, to change jobs, waiting for inspiration, for the boy to come home, for the shopping to be done. In my life, I can’t remember a time when I haven’t been waiting. Waiting for someone, waiting for something, waiting to take a flight, waiting to launch, waiting…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 16, 2018

The Beauty of Simplicity

3 minutes I was sitting quietly in a quiet corner of a comfy private airport lounge editing a video in Dallas Texas when a young woman and her husband walked in and settled on a couch across from me. I was mesmerized by her presence and for the better part of two hours, I tried hard not to get caught stealing glances at her whenever I could. She had a dreamy yet strong look; I marvelled at her silhouette, her profile. She posed quite a distracted from the project I was working on. I couldn’t help but notice she was exquisitely beautiful,…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 10, 2018

The Pursuit of Passion as a Service

4 minutes At first glance, the pursuit of passion can seem self-absorbent, selfish even –all that time spent talking about what we want, willing to do only that which interests us, fully wrapped up in our preferences, ignoring all else. Yet in reality, as self-absorbed as this search might seem, it is the highest form of service to others. Passion, as inward-focusing as it might seem, is also outward looking, benefitting those that consume the output from such an endeavour because while it’s fulfilling to the giver, it’s also of service to the recipients. It’s easy to see how some types of…

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Helena Grey | Loving Lair October 7, 2018

Of Kindness

4 minutes ‘Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle’ is a quote most of us are familiar with. From personal experience, I believe this quote to be accurate; everyone is undergoing a hardship of sorts. The condition of living is such that no one gets out unscarred, no one escapes unscathed. Living is not for the faint-hearted, it requires tenacity; and we emerge wearing our battle scars like a badge of honour. A few years ago after a traumatic event, I concluded that what mattered in life was relationships; that and pursuing our life’s calling. That when faced with the…

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